Sunday evening and it is still warm! Life is good

Life is good but the weekends are a little lonely. I am really going to have to get something done about that - fine new friends - and how many times have I said that in the last 25 years!! I love my friends but we don't see much of each other. They are all in couples except me!!

Anyway, I have just got back from seeing 'the Tree of Life'. A little Stanley Kubrick at the beginning, and very (I want to use a big word here but am not sure which to use so I'll say) up-in-the-air. I think I got the main meaning of the film. I saw the trailer and would never have expect such a high-brow film.

It starts with the delivery of a telegram which tells an American mum, that her son had died. From the cars and so on I think we are at the end of the 50s so it can't be the Vietnam war. Then we shoot forward to today and find Sean Penn who plays the eldest of 3 brothers and through his thoughts we see something of the family's childhood. A rather overbearing but loving father, and a mother who just wants her sons to enjoy life. But at the beginning we see something which I suppose is the creation of the Earth and some scenes with dinasaurs - all very odd! It was not what I expected and I can't say it has really uplifted me. At least I got through to the end.

An utter romantic!

I  have a really good friend in Hungary, however I live alone and am beginning to feel alone! Maybe it is spring, maybe it is because I feel I am getting old and over the hill, I am not sure, but 'things' it could be anything, just get to me at the moment and bring on the tears. Although I know I should do something about this position, I don't - a bit like when you have that final drink that you know will take you over the edge but no matter what, no matter how much you know and say to yourself "don't" you do - well it is like that. Perhaps I am afraid of rejection; no I am afraid of rejection, I know I have a problem with that, and often will avoid situations so as not to be rejected.

But all of that preamble is not what I wanted to talk about today. Today is Friday and I have the intention of going away this weekend to Lac Léman. I know I shall stall so that this evening I will say to myself "it's too late" but I must go, I must do something with myself. Off subject again!!!

I was looking at some things on the net and came across a site www.glbtq.com which I found and put in my favourites some time ago. On the home page today there is a link to a piece about Stephen Gately (for those who don't know who he is, he was the youngest member of Boyzone, he was also gay and out) . So I clicked on the link to read about him and found out that he died at the age of 33 a couple of years ago. Well, people dying young make me sad, it all seems such a waste to cut off a life so early, but the question we ask is why? Well, Stephen Gately died from a pulmonary edema which had gone un-noticed. He was 33 and had his life and love in front of him.

This lead me to think about the stupidity of my thoughts. We all could die in a second, so make the most of life. I am going to make sure I get to Lac Léman TODAY. (just as Carol Bening says 'I'm going to sell this house, TODAY' in American Beauty)

To conclude today a song from Boyzone: Better